Let's find a word for it...

Obsessed, that works. Last night I had two dreams with her in it, both of them so aptly outlined fears/worries/bad history of mine that it was scary. Even more scary is the fact that I remembered BOTH of these dreams, and the second one in extreme detail. Then after I woke up, there wasn't a single thought in my head beside her. All I wanted was to hear her say 'I love you' and to say 'I love you' to her... but of course, she's on a trip with her mother most likely and she couldn't pick up...

She told me that she can't be happy without at least hearing my voice every day... at first I felt bad because I didn't get that type of feeling, but I know why now. I could never have been as in tune with my photography, as happy with it or as creative as I was two days ago without her voice there, she was just listening and responding to my random blithering while I worked, but it was all I needed... it made me so happy... It's her coaxing that gets me out of the house to do my errands, her support that keeps me focused and working on my photography... She can't be happy without at least my voice... I can't live without her's.

She is everything to me. If I lost her... I won't... I can't let her go... and I know that is demanding, and probably sounds a little needy, but... if I could spend the rest of my life with her, wake up on my eightyith birthday and look over at her next to me... I'd be the happiest person on the planet...