Scared...

Her history almost snatched her back after a day that went on for too long... she says she didn't let it... I trust her, and I believe her... I pray that she never betrays my trust... She never called me... She thought that since I had friends over that I would be too busy, and she didn't want to intrude... There was a part of me that if I had been standing in front of her as she told me this... I would have slapped her... what right would I have to say I loved her, if I didn't put her before my friends? If I wasn't willing to drop everything I'm doing to come to her when she needs me... She'll drop what she's doing most of the time if I call, and yet, she doesn't want to interrupt me, so she doesn't call... I could take this in a horribly misunderstood way and interpret it as she doesn't think I care as much for her as she cares for me, but I know that's not the case.

I guess that was more an analysis of what happened post event... what scared me was that she came so close, and didn't tell me much of anything until after everything could have happened... then it'd be to late for me... if we're walking together, and she trips, how can I catch her before she falls if she doesn't call out to me? I'm always going to be there for her... and I hope now that she understands what that means, what I mean, when I say that.

I love her so much... but she scared me so much this time... almost to the point of giving up school so I could be closer to her... I don't want anything to happen to her...