I am...

the balancing act that falls within three seconds...
the armor that fails as soon as it's hit...
the sword that breaks on the first strike...

I am everything I say I don't want to be... I say that I don't want to think of sex constantly... and yet I do... I say that I want to fight for you... and yet I don't... I say that I want to protect you... and I failed at that too...

I've made you question, I've made you worry, I've made you angry, I've even made you cry...

How could I be what you want? I don't want pity... I just...
I want you to be happy, and I want you to never worry, and I want you to always smile, and I want you...

I am so sorry I've changed from that strange kinda crazy guy in the back of the van into the sit at home and do nothing that I am now...

If I were better than I am... I would set you free... but I can't... I don't want to... and in that... I have failed yet again...

I hope I can change... I hope I can be better for you... I'll try... I just fear that I won't change... That I will fail in that too...

All I can say is that I love you... and I wish, so badly, that I could just... just sit next to you... and smile with you... maybe someday...



I Love You